Report finale

26/09

"Good morning. Um, I have an appointment with Mr. Andrews at 11.30" I said the instant she looked up figuring who had entered.

She glanced across to the digital clock on her PC, "You're early. Why don't you sit down... or grab a cup a coffee, whatever you want."

"No, it's fine."

I sat there almost instantly regretting my answer. Now I had to sit face-to-face with virtually nothing to fiddle. And that cup of coffee would've been really useful if only it wasn't Ramadhan.

I finally took out a block note and pen; jotting down points on my purpose of meeting the Dean. Inside one of the offices, I could see a student from the same year engaged in a conversation with him and his vice. Or at least that's what I heard.

Nearly everything about school has found the exit from my mind. But now and perhaps for the last time for the next following months, I am under academic deadline. This is what I must do, I agree. At least this way I'll be fully accredited 2 years of dual BBA program.

Hence, if ever things get sour down there, I could always reassure myself that I didn't waste time. And for the mental growing of this muchly pampered kid, this city has probably taught me my most valuable lesson in life.

Ou est le mal de se montrer fort?

Shit happens. Voila une chose qui expliquera toujours les moments ou tout se bascule devant les yeux. Tout allait parfaitement en ordre quand tout d'un coup je me trouve face a une situation qui m'oblige de tout reorganiser ma vie. En prenant conscience que celle-ci etait ce que je souhaitais, de rentrer a mon pays de naissance, c'est encore l'inconnu qui me fait peur dans cette obscurite.

Dans l'endroit le plus profond de mon coeur, j'attends ce moment de rentrer avec passion. Non pour les rencontres triviales des visages auxquels j'ai une fois fait connaissance, mais pour l'envie de revivre quelque chose que je pensais avoir manque definitivement. Les visages des gens ont trop change et on ne se muri plus dans la meme facon. D'habitude je suis contre les changements, mais voila l'ironie puisque j'en comprends tres bien.

Il y a des moments ou je decide de bien reculer de ce qui reste dans ma vie sociale pour voir les choses de loin. C'est comme ca que je vois plus clairement, de pouvoir constater tout ce qui est arrive et surtout de me poser la question sur comment les choses ont si change. A la fin de la journee, ce qui reste est la conscience de prendre la bonne decision et de vexer le moindre nombre de personnes qui s'est fait attacher.

On its smell

Aside the occasional head-turns in the middle of the road after inhaling mists of cologne/parfume/after-shave (heck even the smell of shampoos) and realising false alarm, I don't believe each of us have a different... hm, body odour. Or that we can differentiate it. It's more like a category; the same when I say Italian guys evoke lust and French girls are pretty. Well, ish.

It was midway from Dakar to Paris.

"Do you smell something?" I turned to my brother before I dropped my head and raised my eyebrow. After convincing me that he hadn't, well, you know, he waved his hand in front of my face, bringing my searching mind back to focus.
"What is it?"
"It's Paris."
"???" I leaned back to my original position.
"You don't understand, it's like I can smell a scent that only exists in Paris. I mean I don't know if it's just Paris, but surely I haven't scented it from, what, 4 months ago. And last year it was the same, when I was on my way back to Paris from Jakarta..." I continued babbling.
"Well... perhaps." He finally said with a worrying look.

After ruling out that someone could be using a particular parfume I perhaps adored but never got (mainly because I'm not a fan of parfumes and if it were to remind me of someone, I have trouble remembering whom), I decided that this 'scent' has something to do with natural given factors (hah! this one can be thrown anywhere--love it) and a troubled and perhaps slightly disturbed, but in a sane sort of way, i.e. my current state of mind.

To me, Paris has this mild scent that if I were to put as colour would be a paler shade of champagne. It's alluring, but in a melancholic way. But mild. In such a way that it blends with no dominant smell. I just can't put the scent into grips, if you know what I mean. I have a different description for Dakar, and ofcourse another for Jakarta.

Perhaps the reason why scents are always subjective weaves a connection here. It's often related to events and your feelings for these events. It makes perfect sense after realising that the only way you can describe a smell is by projecting it to a feeling. And we all know how subjective feelings are.

I'm happy that I've returned. It's nice knowing that I'm back, and barely nothing has changed. Too bad most things do, though :)