!- Assimilation -!

We're doing this exciting assimilation in Geopolitics. Several groups of 3 people were formed to 'create' the extended version of a similar existing profile of a country. You name it: relative sovereign area; industries; languages; religion-- up to availability of nuclear weapons. And of course, a conflicting situation is added to which we will have to make strategic diplomatic or military actions based on.

Here's the profile given on my group's country:

• Industrialised
• Influencial regional power
• Nuclear weapons

The situation is as follows: There is an unexplored area on the border with a neighbouring country, with the same country profile. How must we deal the issue diplomatically? Or is it still possible?

Looking forward to doing some diplomatic "talks" on Thursday ;)

And yes, that area is in OUR borders (haha), and we must save it at ALL costs ;)

Comprends-tu?

Dis donc, ça fait un moment que je n'ai pas mis-à-jour ce cher blog.

Bien, c'est un miracle... je suis encore en vie! Et j'en remercie le bon Dieu chaque jour :) La semaine passée n'a pas été mon mieux, puisque je devais m'occuper certains détails et en penser... penser...et encore penser. Cependant, je ne suis jamais arrivée à la conclusion.

Je ne vais pas essayer de m'excuser sous le prétexte d'être occupé. Franchement, j'avais toujours ressenti une sorte d'ennui à chaque fois qu'on me jette ce genre d'excuses. Je crois à comprendre mieux quand on me dit d'avoir des priorités et que la liste est déjà épuisée. Bien sûr que c'est vexant, mais au moins ça parraîtra moins cliché.
Alors... où étais-je? Ah oui, d'être occupé. Donc simplement, je n'en suis pas ;)

La verité... c'est que

j'essaierai toujours de me faire du temps, quand on me le donne pas.

C'est dommage qu'une très chère personne dans ma vie ne l'a pas compris..

Insecure: not highly stable or well-adjusted

This past week I did two of my mid-semester exams. Commenting on how they went would nearly be as abstract as defining what love is. You think you know, but in truth you either don't really -or worse- really don't.

An interesting topic I managed to draw a line from most of my online conversations this week would be how women, in general, tend to feel the most insecurity in relationships.

Is this true?

Without any intent of raising the flag of feminism (some of you might know how "feminin" I really am), I do not fully agree.

As humans, knowing where you fit in and acting these roles as should be remain basic, therefore fundamental, to our very reason of being, for example, in a relationship. As most of my friends recount; insecurity is tiring, stressing, and unhealthy.

Surprisingly, not few of these people decided to leave their significant-someone, and NOT otherwise.
Surprising because, my first logic speaking; wouldn't the partner be the one fed-up with all the possessive questions like "who with", "who else", and "who're they"? Who, who, who. Never why, never how. All they're interested is who.
But to my surprise (yes, I keep repeating "surprise"), apparently however fed-up the other might be, the stress accumulates more on the one insecure, than that of their partner. Now, excuse me but I find that truly fascinating ;p

Ofcourse, this might just be a unique case where the friends I spoke to really had high levels of insecurity or really trust their partner to the extent that it's severely insecuring, iehieihi. Although... most of them do happen to be females ^ ^;

So, female = insecure?

Well, I happened to be a victim of someone's insecurity once. Although at the time he didn't have the right to be, but nevertheless I felt dictated, surveyed, and most horrifyingly judged. Indeed it was tiring... and kind of made me realise his limited trust in me. On the other hand, I also had a taste of the insecurity seat a while back *waves to my sweety*. Actually, that wasn't insecurity! Jealousy? No way! It was.. hmm.. a mere question, iehiehi.

Well, got to have a little of everything, right? ;)

Identitas?

Suatu perbincangan cukup menarik mengambil tempat saat saya dan teman pulang dari bioskop ke concorde. Hubungan saya dan dia sebatas "temannya-teman" dengan dunia 135 derajat berbeda (45 yang sisa mununjuk persamaan kampus dan latar belakang. Walau dia memiliki paspor Belgia, dia masih setengah Thailand-Kamboja).

dia: "lo beruntung ya"
mia: "beruntung kenapa?"
dia: "sudah banyak melihat dunia"
mia: "... ya, dan kalau ada satu hal yang gue bisa syukuri dari semua perpindahan itu... pasti gimana mereka udah ngerubah penglihatan gue"
dia: "dan saat balik, pengalaman itu akan menjadikan lo orang yang lebih menarik"
mia: "hmm"
dia: "soalnya identitas lo jelas"
mia: "identitas?"
dia: "yup"
mia: "..."
dia: "gini loh mi, menurut gue nilai-nilai Asia lo kuat banget untuk orang yang sering ninggalin tanah air"
mia: "oyah?"
dia: "yup."
mia: "mungkin karena saat-saat umur 'pembentukan' gue berada di negara gue kali"
dia: "mungkin"

---

dia: "... nyokap gue selalu protes ngeliat nilai-nilai Asia gue semakin hilang. kan dia yang nikah sama orang Eropa"
mia: "..."
dia: "haha.. begitulah"
mia: "tapi, waktu pertama kenalan dulu, lo bilang lo orang Thailan. apa itu ngga berarti lo merasa 'lebih' Thailan?"
dia: "iya, tapi gue masih bingung milih values yang mana"
mia: "oh gitu"
dia: "sekarang sudah terlambat"
mia: "..."

---

Perjalanan menuju metro cukup jauh, namun sepanjang jalan, perbincangan kami tanpa saya sadari telah berubah menjadi curahan. Dalam hati, saya mendecak kagum atas kejujuran dan kepolosan hatinya. Dibalik isapan rokok, tato dan canda tawanya saat berada dibelakang meja kelas, ternyata masih tersimpan jiwa seorang gadis 19 tahun yang jenaka.

Hatinya baik. Bagi saya, hanya itu yang penting.

Promise

Today started off disappointingly when I figured that making a long-distance call demands for a great amount of luck & effort on our side. I stubbornly woke up later than I had promised, and I hopelessly pressed the destinated phone number to see whether luck was on my side. And it turned out she wasn't :'(

Promise: A declaration assuring that one will or will not do something; a vow.
(dictionary.com)

I've never been taught to see promises as something light. That's probably why I try to avoid it everytime I can. I would try to casually go around my point and use weak, pointless, and/or empty words, to blur my declaration (i.e. "maybe..", "I guess I will..", etc.). And when I do finally make one, with all my heart I wish to fulfill it.

Obviously, like today, I don't always make it. This image of not 'filling' the empty glass comes to mind-- the glass is drying out. So is the promise.

Sometimes certain conditions won't let you keep control of situations. I guess one can argue that it is the very reason why you shouldn't make promises. I, on the other hand, try to source out and find a different definition for promise. A strong will of the heart, purposely declared to beckon others' assurance, conditioned by external unknown factors.
To recuperate my point in bold: a conditioned will. Con-di-tioned. Therefore when a promise is broken, it doesn't necessarily equal to lie.

I understand that now, more than just to justify my failure of the promise I made to call, ofcourse ;D

In the afternoon, I went to meet two friends and didn't know what exactly to expect when one of them came with a soccer ball. Haha, yes for those who know me it's completely a "hein? mia and soccer? It's so not together." And you're right buddies, because my upper stomach certainly didn't appreciate the ball when it tried to kick through -_-; Went to watch Serenity after... didn't enjoy it very much though...