Once, 6 years ago.

Last night, there was a reunion held by a handful of alumni from the highschool I used to attend in Jakarta. It wasn't much from an event's critic point of view, but for me, it was a generous wake-up call. A wake-up call because most of my highschool mates have graduated, working, and starting to plan weddings. A wake-up call because there were faces I recognized but never took the chance to know. A wake-up call because those were the only people I would ever call highschool mates in Jakarta.

Life joked on me last night, I re-found my "highschool crush" and took the nerve to call out his name among all heads. Turned out that the day I left for Paris back in 2002, ever since, he was subjected to pressures of "calling" and/or "emailing" me because our mutual friends apparently think there could be something more going on. But nothing ever did. I packed my luggage and fleed, ending something that never had the chance to begin. Six years later, there we were, near the parking of our shared highschool, silenced, but thankful. Grateful for being able to admire each other so long that it would be senseless to think anything else were meant to be.

For a change, being around people that shared the same history felt warm and welcoming. I enjoyed last night, and how it ended with a self-promise to live my life the best that I could as I sat under the open sky night- watching the vibrant color of fireworks above.

Captured.

On Monday, 15th September and Tuesday, 16th September 2008, I finally made it alive to Friday with my reputation and dignity intact. One of many seminars and clinics on capital market and investments was being held at the Faculty of Economics & Business, Universitas Indonesia. Overall, the event went smoothly and the number of participants finally hit our target (after some scare)- and those very facts made me proud, and a bit lightheaded after I realised that I've been chronically sleep-deprived.

As Creative Team Leader of Capture! (Capital Prospect for Your Future!), I was given responsibility to make sure that whatever happens in the auditorium stays as planned- from timing to topics. I was extremely happy that everybody that said they would come finally did and on time. There were no major delays to the event and I was loving how it all wrapped together so profesionally. With other Project Division members being "tossed" into this mini-fountain finale. They tried to heave me as well, but I refused. The kind of get-lost-you're-not-tossing-me kind of refusal. Hmm.

After the first day of Capture!, I realised I became more opened and accessible to all other members of my organization. I started to bring down the image of how I want to be perceived and started to show my less-than-perfect behavior. The kind of behavior I only show my friends because I feel comfortable around them. And I was starting to feel comfortable being around them. And that was extremely heart-felting.

See, I don't know what I want to focus on in this entry anymore. It's not Capture, it's not even about being more "accessible" to more people, and I haven't even mentioned about my crush on a totally great, admirable, but inaccessible guy with that... smile. A smile so capturing yet far from over-powering.

Wow, life does go on. And I love it.