Captured.

On Monday, 15th September and Tuesday, 16th September 2008, I finally made it alive to Friday with my reputation and dignity intact. One of many seminars and clinics on capital market and investments was being held at the Faculty of Economics & Business, Universitas Indonesia. Overall, the event went smoothly and the number of participants finally hit our target (after some scare)- and those very facts made me proud, and a bit lightheaded after I realised that I've been chronically sleep-deprived.

As Creative Team Leader of Capture! (Capital Prospect for Your Future!), I was given responsibility to make sure that whatever happens in the auditorium stays as planned- from timing to topics. I was extremely happy that everybody that said they would come finally did and on time. There were no major delays to the event and I was loving how it all wrapped together so profesionally. With other Project Division members being "tossed" into this mini-fountain finale. They tried to heave me as well, but I refused. The kind of get-lost-you're-not-tossing-me kind of refusal. Hmm.

After the first day of Capture!, I realised I became more opened and accessible to all other members of my organization. I started to bring down the image of how I want to be perceived and started to show my less-than-perfect behavior. The kind of behavior I only show my friends because I feel comfortable around them. And I was starting to feel comfortable being around them. And that was extremely heart-felting.

See, I don't know what I want to focus on in this entry anymore. It's not Capture, it's not even about being more "accessible" to more people, and I haven't even mentioned about my crush on a totally great, admirable, but inaccessible guy with that... smile. A smile so capturing yet far from over-powering.

Wow, life does go on. And I love it.

Salad days; when we were green in judgment

Thoughts are ruthless prejudices, sometimes brute, and incomplete- but when thoughts are collected and become ideas, they become more powerful. Today I discovered a passionate soul with the will to force Indonesia to become "better" - eradicated of misery from past errors of corrupted in-charges. An intelligent future leader- who vows to "serve" motherland and live the rest of his life in peace, knowing that he has contributed toward tomorrow's Indonesia.

"My salad days, when I was green in judgment." - taken from Shakespeare's Anthony and Cleopatra, 1606.

I believe that my friend meant every word of it. If I could get past my synicism of how the world plays tricks on idealistic minds, I would even bet he'll keep his words and become a leader who acts and deliver results. Hard, concrete results, for my beloved country. Sadly, I've become familiar with the ability of power to corrupt the minds of beautifully devoted people who Indonesia is of desperate need.

I'm a devotee. I've planned the course of my life to be spent here, and though I've ruled out the possibility of becoming a civil servant, one of my greatest wish is to witness my country thrive. I grit at my fellow Indonesian students who have spent valuable time studying abroad who eventually stay abroad due to the near inexistant field of their studies in Indonesia. I do not judge them, but I sure wish things were different.

For an ex-diplomat's daughter, having lived to see other nations' thoughts on Indonesia hands-0n, I have to say that it would take lots of courage to heave this country out of the current mess. The many Indonesian youngsters who think and say that there could be no way out of this multi-dimensional crisis are only burnt out on hope. Personally, I believe that they are holding their belief deep down that one day there would be an Indonesian Alberto Fujimori and re-ignite the heroic fire within.

Indonesia needs our trust. Be it that time and power will corrupt the thoughts of my said friend and millions of other Indonesian youngsters, there would always be somebody who holds dear onto hope of a better future. Someone young, intelligent, and ruthless... Someone that would always remind Indonesians to make that extra effort and make her thrive.

Happy 63rd birthday, my Indonesia. Merdeka!