Taking chances

If you're lucky, you'll find that the universe is actually kind enough to offer you second chances in life. In fact, I believe that it always does- though it may choose not to offer it in exactly the same way.

Every protected memory has a heartbeat, framed to instill an exact emotion, from an exact word or phrase... delivered by perhaps an exact person. You try to capture and grasp every little detail before you realise that it would be another lost battle against time. Sure, you'll always remember how "torn" you felt when your heart was broken, or perhaps the passion you felt when touching the soft details of someone's skin- but it would never be quite whole again. In a few years, you'd be surprised at how very few words of facts would be used to describe your once "great" experience. Time will slowly wash away context- and holding onto emotion without context is not only irrational but humanly impossible.

I believe that this exact framed hearbeat from an unbearable experience, or a very cunning one, could only be "relived" when another event of the same nature applies- when you try not to out-smart your second chance by praying and hoping... just hoping, that this time it will work out for the best. Afterall, let's not settle for a happy ending when we can get happily ever after.

Happy new year 2009. Here's to another 9 years of happiness :)

less-than-smart

The greatest thing about being less-than-smart is that all the smart people question your sincerity when you fire jokes on your state of decayed academic life. It’s refreshing- laughing against those looks of pity while at the same time trying to settle with yourself deep down. While others might think of it as ‘negative energy’, or ‘motivation killers’, I think of it as the chance to openly accept my inability and thus gather enough to fight back.

Enough of what?

Courage- to look at myself from the perspective of someone I should become and say “hey, you’ve got room for improvement.” This is not negative energy, this is a healthy and socially artful tact of self-recognition. Yes, that was a mouthful.