Understand and forgive

For the past few days I've been thinking whether it was really possible to understand why one would do something that evidently concerns you, but not necessarily forgive them for having done so.

Logically, by having understood the reason; next comes forgiveness. But perhaps it was never that easy simply by understanding a backstabber, you forgive, and act as if nothing ever happened. Human beings aren't divine. We are not that special.

Until recently, I had considered myself quite a warrior in the field of forgiveness. I would walk through with the suited armor and trained myself to dismantle unnecessary feelings of attachment. I still came out being scratched and bruised, but I would be fine. I forgave.

Then slowly I began to realise that it isn't real forgiveness, because I simply didn't care. I had no attachment with the people, I was just walking through my life, bumping to strangers and leaving my way once again. I couldn't care less about what they wish would/has made to happen to me. It doesn't concern me.

Reluctantly after being waay too comfortable in my safety box, I woke up and greet the world. I care now, and you'd always find ways to understand things when you do.

But at the same time, forgiving and moving on become much less simple.